The Bottle Diet for 19 Year Olds Only

BackgroundFirst off, I don't know if water-bottle is spelled like that, but I figure I have already started with it that way (yesterday) so I might as well continue.


Secondly, I was going to tell a story where I swore (sort of *gasp, horror*) in front of my grade nines, but I am in the theme of water-bottles so I thought I would continue with another bottle story.


Have I ever told you that I am an English as a Second Language teacher?  No? Well, I am.  I share a room with a teacher whose job is much more complicated than mine. And of course, by share, I mean that when I got my job they didn't really tell me where to go, and because I relied so heavily on T-buck, I have kind of just moved in--at least until they give me somewhere to go.


So, our jobs: I deal with about 20 fairly high functioning English Language learners who are residents of Canada; T-buck deals with about 60 learners of varying backgrounds and abilities who are staying in home-stays to go to our school.  His job keeps him VERY busy (and p.s. he also has four adorable kiddlets...B-U-S-Y).


Characters
Me


T-buck


Ester: a very odd Korean exchange student.  Yes, Ester is her name.  No, I am not spelling it wrong. Yes, I realize Ester is usually spelled Esther.  Yes, I realize an ester is a chemical compound.  I am using her real name, which I have never done before and will possibly never use again, because she is now safely back in Korea.  Can we move on now?  


Anyway, Ester was a very odd duck (picture a four foot tall anime character, glasses and all).  T-buck and I referred to the way she spoke as "Ester-speak".  Every fifth word or so would be in Korean.  Then, when we would tell her to speak English, the next word would inevitably be a swear (we think) in Korean.  I generally could understand her, and would often translate.


Here is one very odd conversation we had:

Ester: Uh, Mrs. B? (Now, for this to have the full effect, you have to put her accent in there, so it sounds more like Mishhus Bey.)


Ms. B: What's up, Ester?

Ester: Do you have any empty bottle?

Ms. B: What? (generally my first question when speaking with Ester)


Ester: Well, I have two empty bottle but home-stay recycle dem.

Ms. B: What kind of bottles?

Ester: Like wine bottle, beer bottle.

Ms. B: Uh, what for?

Ester: You know, for like diet.

Ms. B: What?

Ester: You know, like diet, loose weight.

Ms. B: What does that have to do with a bottle?

Ester: You know, you take and do this.

She makes a motion like she is rubbing a bottle up and down her thighs, kind of like kneading bread with a rolling pin.


Ms. B: Hun, I don't think that is going to work.

Ester: Yes, I do.  My mother say so.

Ms. B: Um...okay.  I will bring you a bottle tomorrow.

Ester: Two please?

Ms. B: Sure...

Ester: Tank you!  See you tomorrow!

The next day...


I give Ester two EMPTY beer bottles; hey, she is 19 and COULD have bought the bottles herself, but she doesn't drink, so I figure beer bottles are fine.


Ms. B: Here you go, Ester.

Ester: Ah, tank you!!!

One bottle in each hand, she starts walking out of the classroom.


T-buck: Um, you can't walk out into the hall with empty beer bottles in you hands.

Ester: Why?!? I nineteen.

Finally, after much convincing, she puts the bottles in her bags and leaves.  Needless to say, I did not notice any weight-loss.  




But still, I keep doing it every day.