S**t Money

The title gives this entire entry away.  In fact, the title is the most comedic part of what I am going to say.  If you are here for a chuckle, stop reading now because it only goes downhill after the title.  Can't you tell yet?

Okay, okay.  I will get on with this teaching tale now.  I refer to this as the Tale of the S**t Money.

The only character in this is me.  My SS9s were also there, but they had very little to say.  It was one of the many days when I lecture.  The topic was a fabulous lesson (nawt!) called Why Everyone Hated Charles I. Okay, it wasn't really called that, but I need to give it a name and that was the general topic I was at when this event occurred.

So, there are tons of reasons that Charles the First--at least I hope it was Charles I, the more I write the more, I am doubting my over-exposed memory.  There were terrible deeds, taxes, and even the Secret Court of Star Chamber, which I always mess up and call the Chamber of Secrets.  He collected money by charging tonnage, poundage, and ship money.

Yes, you read that right.  SHIP (S, H, I, P) money.  Not s**t money; ship money.

But, like how you just reacted, my class was also positive I said s**t money.  Clearly, what sane person's mind does not automatically hear s**t money when someone says ship money?  1) Whoever says ship money? and 2) What the heck is ship money anyways?  (Look it up if you really want to know; I am not going to pollute my blog with that information. Oh, wait, no, I am talking about s**t money again.)  Anyway, tomorrow slur the phrase "ship money" and see what people hear.  I guarantee that they will hear s**t money.

So, my class exclaims, "What did you just saaaaaay?"

And I reply, "Ship p p p p p money."

They respond, "Oh, we thought you said...."

"I bet I could guess.  No shippppp money.  But actually, interestingly enough, in ancient Rome, there was actually a urine tax." I then detoured for about 5 minutes talking about urine tax and the Roman Empire.  So, when I am done, I turn back to the board to write the last point I just spoke about, ship money.

I turn and write.

I turn back to the class and continue with the lecture. 

I notice that the kids who can see the board are sniggering. I turn and look at what I just wrote.  Plain as the nose of Adrian Brody's face, there is what I just wrote.  All caps.  S**t money.

"Eiiyia," I moan, scream, mumble as I fumble for the eraser.  I finally manage to erase the word.

"Aw, I already wrote that down. In pen," a kid whines.

But, needless to say, on the next unit test, they all got the question about ship money correct.